well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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