Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Will exercising make me less horny?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
