he thought i was a dude.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
