that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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