i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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