idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
