I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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