I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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