New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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