I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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