Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
