Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
