To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
