if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
