What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
