Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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