Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
