so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
