She said her name was "party"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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