she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
