if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We are all done wearing pants today
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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