I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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