No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
