I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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