laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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