Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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