ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
