When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
