babies were throwing up all over the place
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
