She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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