I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have aggressive nipples.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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