I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
