she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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