well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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