How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
