did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
