I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
