i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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