two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
