Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
