tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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