Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
