I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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