I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize