Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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