every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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