Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I look better un-naked...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
