there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
