If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im holly from the hills drunk
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize