You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
