I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just google imaged poop.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
