sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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