That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
