Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
