i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The best revenge is premature balding
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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