either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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