I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
