I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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